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Saturday, May 31, 2003
Yeah finally updating my blog today again. Supposed to go temple again today but i forgot! Damn hope nothing bad comes my way. Today watch bruce almighty with rec.teo and loy. Not a bad movie, kinda funny at times and kinda sad at times. Can understand what the prayer means by help me forget a person... I pray for that sometimes too, but its never answered. Well U dun know what's best for yourself, if there's a god only he will know. But what the heck out with the boring stuff, been playing a bit of wc3 again. My hands are so rusty i can't micro shit. Its like coming out of drug rehab, can't do things as swiftly as i used to.
(0) So Waddaya Think!
10:55:00 AM
Monday, May 26, 2003
Ahh well talked to jason quite a bit this morning. Well we have different ways of governing our lives and we thread different paths in life. Dun wanna talk about it here. Why? Cause i dun really got the mood anymore.
I like people to learn things by themselves without being taught. The rule of rugged individualism. I find it stays in the mind longer.
Put her name in my msn nick hopefully so she would notice and see what reaction it would cause. Stir some old emotions? Afraid not, only brought her anger. Asked me why i put her name there. Didn't tell her the reason but just changed it anyway. Maybe all these things are clouding my head too much. Maybe i find that we should't look so deep for reasons because reasons cause me heart ache. Every time i think of why she left me, the only reason i could think of was that she never really liked me. Although my whole heart i give to her, then and now. Some things never change, but some things do change. Maybe evading reasons, has been my way of hiding from the reasons, my way of running away. Having been losing sleep and losing my appetite more and more. Didn't eat anything today. Just didn't feel like having anything. Ever had those days?
Damn. Going to temple tomorrow with xiao zhang. Some things just got to be done. 2 years ago before my exam i went to the temple to pray. The first thing i prayed for was to pass my exams. The second i prayed for, was her to enter my life and stay there. Well, i never believed in these things, but then i wanted it so much. It was the only thing in life i have ever prayed for. I guess its the only thing in life worth praying for. My prayers were answered and we were together. Although not for a long time, but i still have haunting memories of every moment spent with her together. Well days passed and everything was forgotten... Over a year i never go return gratitude for my prayer. It's time i returned to offer my thanks for something given to me.
(0) So Waddaya Think!
10:43:00 AM
Sunday, May 25, 2003
Today went for usual jamming session. Well i was late for some reasons, but i don't like to push the blame on people. Whenever you get angry at someone, always think before you act. Think if you have the right to be angry at that person. If you have ever done that very same thing to that person before or to other people. I dun get it why jason thinks i have a personality problem when i tell him that every time they are late for jamming and i am the person there waiting along i keep quiet. I dun make a fuss i dun create trouble i dun get angry. Is that a problem? Should i flare up like he did and raise my voice and shout at other people? Why is it only he can have the mood to not sing as a vocalist? Can i not feel like playing drums not feel like going jamming as i always have? But i do still drag myself there for practice. Not because i like to go but i feel i have to go for the sake of other people. I don't complain i get frustrated. I don't compete i get let down. And i don't blame others i abandon the fault. I have too much problems of my own to create any more for other people.
The Master said, "When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves."
(0) So Waddaya Think!
1:15:00 PM
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Pain is a good thing. Pain is your friend. Pain tells you that you are still alive.
But sometimes pain makes u feel like ending your life too... Dun know why but these few days i keep thinking of her... Went to bugis today to pass ah foo money for our saturday movie. Gonna watch matrix. So many people at bugis... So many couples holding hands... makes me miss the days when we held hands.
Equilibrum and balance in life. Some people are smart but suffer physically or emotionally, everyone has his ups downs, good points and bad points. However good points are not always good for you. I've understood the reason why i have perfect eyesight and why my hearing isnt perfect. I always can't catch things quickly by hearing and i know why -.-"... My perfect eyesight is a reminder to me, to let me see all the things i shouldn't see that remind me of her, of places we often go to and things we used to do. My hearing is for things that she always never said to me although i kept waiting for the words to come out. I guess that's one of the reasons why i can never let her go. I've been waiting for the right words to come out from her too, but they never came and i'm still waiting. Like a fool. I'll never forget the day we broke up, when we talked on the phone as she called me after her lessons ended. I was at bugis. Then i went to an arcade machine... and my tears began rolling out, no one to comfort me no one to talk to. Like now. I guess i dun really need any good friends, everything keeps being bottled up and someday i will explode. Then i will be set free from this world by my own special way. How long more can i take it? I dun want any sympathy i dun want anything... For now i guess i just wanna be left alone and drown my sorrows ._.
;(
(0) So Waddaya Think!
7:45:00 AM
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Talked to adeline today... really miss her and the times we had together... Asked her to patch back with me. Too bad she's attached already... Guess she really likes that guy too
;(
Very sad dunno what im gonna do now...
(0) So Waddaya Think!
10:52:00 AM
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Went to the compy! saw ppg! not as chio as i expected but oh well... She got that look that doesnt really appeal to me >_<
Grats to dsd starfish for the gosu micro and uber skills in winning the compy! and great work by dsd holding such a wonderful competition! well that's yesterday
Here to talk about today~ Spent most of my time either sleeping or playing ragnarok online... Just gotta do something to keep myself occupied. Went to junbing's place to play talisman again this evening. Rather uneventful. Missed jamming session today cause degussa was uncontactable. Well doesn't really matter anyway, we didn't book the studio... After talisman session however, went for a late night supper snake at food & music. Also had some alcohol. Its been some time since i had any alcohol... Whenever i go drinking, its the same thing... I'll drink and want to drink more to suppress my emotions... Whenever i drink, i'll think of my first love and how i lost her... Tears will well up in my eyes and there's nothing i can do ;( god i really miss her... Would do anything to get her back into my life... >_<
(0) So Waddaya Think!
11:20:00 AM
Monday, May 12, 2003
Hahaha so much training for what? For what??? I'm not taking part in either KOF or WC3 compys... Simply cause i aint in their league. Went jamming on saturday playing bel air. Its been such a long time since i jammed and well, bel air gives me the same feeling as if im jamming yokan... The very good jamming feeling. I think im gonna love bel air.
Been drifting apart from my irc friends, kinda boring >_< getting to know more ppl from wc3 tho. Nice people they are very chatty with loads of crap to talk about! Maybe i might just play the game again! Its not all that bad anyway, and they have cute gals playing ;P Aint gonna say who!
Went to bugis yesterday for some games of kof... Saw the girl in pink and her friend again! OMG the girl in pink... SO CUTE~!~! always see them wherever i go... orchard, bugis, peninsula... everywhere! Well, her friend always smiles at me and i'll always smile back ;) but that's just all we do... smile >_<
(0) So Waddaya Think!
1:25:00 PM
Friday, May 09, 2003
Whoa! today just play a lot of games of wc3... massive training for 2v2 me and rec.teo. Our teamwork still needs some sharpening but give us some time and we'll pwnage! R0x0r we are... Almost 5-6 consecutive games? Intensive microing and thinking of how to break their combi of dual orc has taken a toll on me... or maybe its just because im not physically as fit as i used to be and all this non-exercise has kept me... kinda wasted... After those games felt really giddy and my head was about to split. Sux to be me!
Well learnt a lot of new things from the chinese movie i watched. I've learnt that the best way to avoid rejection is to reject the person first. The more u want to forget someone, the more you think about it... So the best way to forget someone is to keep her in your mind... Well trying to forget adeline, i guess i should just keep her in my mind i guess... She was after all the best girl i ever met ;(
hope she sees this~ tho i know she wun
(0) So Waddaya Think!
12:57:00 PM
Thursday, May 08, 2003
Yeaaa today went out with my skoolmates... They graduating and im not haha r0x dun it? Well went to watch the m00bie Bringing the house down or watever its called. Hilarious movie! GG definitely worth watching!
Yesterday went to watch Willard. RAT.showtime! Good movie with ez-gniliak dsd)Venus( dsd)Delete( and of course... REC.TEO! Got kiat also and ez-ava but they came after the show to eat... Well nice people they are! I guess i'll take part in the wc3 compy then, to show my appreciation for nice people! C U there! iWILLrush and iWILLpwn!
(0) So Waddaya Think!
11:41:00 AM
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
The path has been laid down... My path for now anyway... I'm bound by my fate to be a jRocker and being jRocker is a lonely life ;) someone has helped me understand that. Well if u wanna be the best u gotta be lonely. Now i'm juggling my time between WC3 KOF and JROCK! Which is more important? both are but i guess they're just a part of life and if they stay on... well that depends.
Created a new WC3 account in US WEST to train my 1v1s... Can't log on asia or i would have. Well it's iWILLpwn if u wanna check my stats in the future to see how i'm going. Its been some time since i last played about 3-4 mths? so if u see me with 80% or 90% record its a good chance that i aint gonna continue to play this game. I mean if i can beat 80% or 90% of the ppl in this game and im gonna get high level... what's the freaking point of this game its too easy to master and only fucktards cant master the game! no offence to any n00bs out there.
Been some time since i played everquest. It stinks i cant get a group i cant solo cause everything is camped
i wanna get to 65 so badly but i guess i wun get it cause i can't alone anyway... its gonna take forever
time is something i don't have ;)
Oh yeah, school holidays are coming... Thinking of asking liting out again ;) been some time since i went out with her so i guess i should ask her out again. She's the cutest thing in the world she is! Lets leave it at that ok
(0) So Waddaya Think!
11:59:00 AM
Friday, May 02, 2003
Everyday seems like a much better day it seems, the wheel of time keeps turning and ages come and go...
I've decided! Its time for workout once again. Time to start packing my bag and start going to gym again. And of course take the warrior diet, my no.1 nutritional guide free of charge by none other than the wrestling icon... Ultimate warrior. Check out the contours of his muscles... so well defined. But heck i dun want that! No way
Tired... been up these few nights online chatting and listening to bel air. Appreciating the song and listening to every instrument play independantly now... Its a nice feeling. I'd love to stay up all night to chat and listen to songs, but i promised i'll be a good boy and go to sleep, so i'm going now ;D
(0) So Waddaya Think!
12:00:00 PM
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